Three O'Clock Surgery401, 403, 405...
The hallway seemed neverending. Ordinarily one would think it's a lonely and dreary place, but for me whose eyes darted from door to door, whose heart beat in a crazy rhythm, nothing made sense anymore but the numbers posted on top of every door.
413. At last. I peeped inside through his door's small glass window. His sleeping face is of course a little thinner, a little paler than usual, but still, an avalanche of emotions swept me inside.
I took a step forward, paused, then stepped back. I wanted to touch him, rest my hand on his cheek, brush back the locks that littered his forehead, but all I can do is stare, frozen where I stood. On the outside, looking in.
As I stared I can't help remembering the times when we were just plain happy, the times when he showed extraordinary concern for me, the times when I wondered if he loved me the way I loved him. But at the back of my mind, I knew, he'll always look at me as a friend - the girl who for countless hours exchanged green jokes with him over the phone, the girl whom he collaborated with in finishing school requirements, the girl he shared his stamp collection with. I'll always be the girl who encouraged him to spit out his feelings for the one he's starry-eyed for, the girl who rejoiced upon knowing romance is his at last, and the girl whose shoulder he cried on when this love proved untrue to him after all. I tried to see him the way he saw me, but everytime I look at him I see someone who's not just a friend but a person who's everything to me.
I was scared at first; this weird emotion surely felt threatening. Resistance proved useless, though; no matter how hard I try not to notice, he always finds a way to warm my heart... unknowingly at that. It was then that I started to wear this mask - the face of a friend he once knew. I cannot afford to let him see the girl deep inside me, who is hopelessly, irrevocably in love with him. The situation is scary enough for me; it would be unbearable if he'd be scared off as well.
He stirred, snatching me from my reverie. I pushed his door open and put on my mask - just before he looked up at me. I smiled at him, once again the girl he calls "BESTFRIEND".